Dress Try-outs: Shopping Around

As someone who just purchased her wedding dress from a local boutique after visiting David's Bridal, I really really encourage you to visit multiple bridal boutiques.

First off, David's Bridal on a busy day feels like a dairy farm. We felt as though we were being herded through pens like cattle. And there constantly seems to be something that goes wrong, whether it is a forgotten appointment or a consultant doing double duty or teenagers shopping for their prom dresses.

All three happened Saturday morning. Seriously.

The consultant we had was much ruder than the other two times I have been to DB. I brought a list with me of dresses and she kept bringing out shit not on the list. I brought a list with me for a reason and I finally had to have my MOH look up the one dress on the list I wanted to show to my bridal party and my momma so we could demand it. It took forever, and then because she was doing double duty I ended up in dresses for sometimes 15-20 minutes. Are you kidding me?

I was not treated like one of a kind and made a come back appointment against my will. But it's not like I'll be keeping it anyway!

For the second stop, I had made an appointment at a local boutique that I have heard amazing things about and I was so very glad to have a spot after a mishap with another boutique that shall remain nameless.

Vera's House of Bridal is located maybe 5 minutes from my apartment and practically next door to the movie theater the fiance and I frequent. Unlike many local places, you can view the collections they have dresses from on their website, and even save a favorites list to take in with you. And perhaps the best thing - Vera, who began the business in 1964, is in her 80s and still comes to work every single day and manages the boutique very well.

Another thing I loved about their place is that there are actual rooms where you can try on your dresses with abundant seating, a special mirror to see the back of your dress - and they have plenty of bottles of water, which is great with my Sjogren's acting up lately.

After about 2 hours there, I walked back to the car having paid for half of a dress that will end up being probably two and a half times more than I was expecting to pay... but I'm also shopping local and getting amazing service, including free storage so I don't have to worry about wrecking my dress trying it on every day haha.

And now everything seems so much more real. I have a year and a half to go until the big day, and part of me feels like it isn't enough time - but another big part of me is ready to get this done and be Mrs. Schultz.

My precioussssss

Happy Valentine's Day

Cake Tasting

Mmmmm cake.

Cake shopping when you're gluten free can be quite a hassle. Going to wedding expos and shows is pretty fun, but the large majority of cake places (and a lot of catering places in general) unfortunately aren't equipped for gluten or allergen free events.

We found two locally here that can do more than one flavor that seem really really nice, so this post will be about tasting at the front runner, Bloom Bake Shop.

We live in a really progressive area and we like to support local businesses when we can, so Bloom is a natural choice. They're local, sustainable, organic, fair-trade - and have an AMAZING gluten free selection every day of the week... except for Sundays and Mondays but that's only because they're closed! They have a lot of gluten free things that are vegan too, which is important to me as I really do try to limit my dairy.

They also love to do cupcake weddings! They even have a tiny cake made to be the top of a cupcake tier. And their prices are not too shabby, especially considering we aren't planning on splurging horribly for anything.

When we got there tonight, we weren't sure just how it was going to go. Essentially what happened though is they brought us 2 plates of 4 cupcakes each, mine were all gluten free and his weren't, and we got to taste and talk to each other about it. In the end, I think we'll end up going all gluten free so I can eat allll the cakes!

We definitely need to try other places, but I really enjoyed getting to brainstorm a little with their main person and eating free cake. She was open to a lot of questions so I wish I had prepared some! But I've done a fair amount of research on them as well so maybe that was okay.

So here are some tips regarding cake testing!

• Ask questions - especially if you have an interesting theme or anything special you want to do with your cake
• If local and organic things are your preference, do your homework. Most bigger cities have at least one bakery willing to go the distance there
• And definitely do your homework when it comes to allergen issues and cakes. Bloom is not a GF specific bakery and so there is possible risk of contamination. However, they really do a great job to protect from that.

Next weekend, I head off to try on dresses with my nearest and dearest ladies!

Wedding Dress Tryouts and Expos

My last two weekends have been filled with wedding things, to the point where I'm getting overwhelmed honestly. On the 5th, my maid of honor and I went and tried on wedding & bridesmaid dresses and to a wedding expo over in Milwaukee. This past weekend, I dragged my fiance to the expo here in Madison.

Through it all I've ended up with a gigantic binder full of crap and a lot of stuff to take down to the recycling bin. It's been a bit of a headache really. But out of it I have some great tips!

First off, the best tip I have for the first few times trying on dresses is to take your maid of honor or sister or whatever - but that one person who you're close to who shares your style... even if it's your fiance. I know it's "against the rules" but I've been asking his opinion though he won't see me in the dress until the day I think. Superstitions seem silly when you've been through so much with a chronic illness progressing and this man (or woman) in your life. Then again, so do normal "for better or worse, in sickness and health" vows but that's an issue for another day.

I took my MOH Katy these first two times trying on dresses and it has significantly reduced my crazy dress issues. And she can try on bridesmaid dresses and help with colors as well as styles!

Also, she's there to look fabulous!

Second, take pictures! You're never going to see the dress from all the angles someone else would.

Empire waist

I found out I hate the front of this dress

Oh, but I love the back of it so!

Third? Make sure you're not wearing zebra print panties when you try dresses on. White would be a really good idea.

Oops.

Look online for inspiration and bring in pictures. Also learn wedding dress terminology like mermaid, sheath, sweetheart neckline, etc. For big chain stores or ones that carry certain designers you can definitely (AND SHOULD) look at styles online and go in with a style number or picture that you'd like to try. I have a HUGE list right now - gulp!

And don't be afraid to revisit a dress that you loved instantly but dumped because it didn't have lace (satin, rouching, beads, etc). I put on this dress right away and fell in love but have since dumped it because it isn't lacy. However,  I'm not entirely pleased with the two above and I'm convinced this may end up being THE dress.

Definitely don't limit yourself to one big chain of wedding stores. So far that's all I've tried (you know the one) but I have appointments at some local boutiques set up and am definitely looking into booking a few more with all those coupons I got at those wedding expos!

(Nice segue, right?)

Zoinks

Okay, it's overwhelming and it'll be like walking past all the kiosk people in the mall but you've practiced the ignoring skills there right? Truth be told you may not want to employ those ignoring skills at expos (unless you don't want to rent - and I'm serious - a Bucky Badger fancy trailer bathroom).

First tip here - if you eat before, only eat a little. There WILL be cake.

Mmmmmmmmm cake

That said, if you end up at an expo where they make you do crazy things for prizes, walk out immediately.

My dignity has to be somewhere in here.

The truth is there will be lots of ways at classy expos for you to win free stuff - some of which you may even get there! I got free fake lashes put on and ended up looking AMAZING.

My Still's rash was cooperating YAY

Visit all the booths you want to and if a booth is too busy come back. One I wanted to visit was too busy to talk to someone every time we walked past but I grabbed their handout stuff anyway. Also make sure you ask questions for any accommodations you may need. There were really only two bakers between both expos that have multiple gluten free options so I'm definitely glad I asked before thinking about booking a tasting!

Make sure you sign up for free shit but remember these people will actually follow up. It would be good to have a separate email address for wedding things or at least a folder in your inbox dedicated to the big day. This may also be the time to remove the crazy ringtone from your phone and explore how to set it on silent.

I found this tip from Pinterest I think and it has REALLY helped me at both expos - get address labels (or create your own) so you don't have to fill out as much on forms. It was a godsend, especially with fibro phoebe and Arthur-itis being active lately.

It would also be good to at least have a rough idea of what you want for decorations and such, as well as (at the bare minimum) the month and year of your big day.

Oh, and definitely make sure to hit up the fashion shows! There are usually two per day - typically noon and three for an expo running from 10am to 5pm.

I do my little turn on the catwalk. On the catwalk, yea!

Afterwards, go through all the take homes and recycle (please!) the things you decide not to look further into and compile the keep things into a binder. I keep my things separated with those divider tabs I bought in college and never used.

Now I do have another tip to share right now while we're on the subject:

Enter every damn contest and get all the free things you can girl! Many of the expo booths will have freebees and contests but then the expos themselves many times have a contest to win things donated by the different companies and such. There are also a few good websites out there, like Wedding Vibe, with getaways and giveaways done like every damn day. And many places will allow you to get samples for free. One great place I found was Exclusively Weddings, where you can get free invitation samples. If you have to pay to enter a contest, just shut down the page and throw that junk mail away.

Speaking of contests...

Please forgive me, but from the 17th-30th of January I'll be using the blog and the facebook page to pimp myself out. No, I haven't magically turned into a car, but I am trying to win a David's Bridal contest worth $2500 towards my wedding - which I desperately need! I would very much appreciate it if you'd come vote for me and share the link with your friends!

Beth :) 2.0

I finally felt good enough this weekend to drive "dress in a box" over to David's Bridal, with my sisters/bridesmaids in tow for a day of dress trying on and picking out and all that good stuff. I'll admit it was an interesting experience for a group of tomboys like ourselves. My sisters burped, farted, cursed, and basically did everything you shouldn't do in a bridal boutique. Gotta love them no matter what. But, end result is THE DRESS IS OFFICIAL and fits. However if i end up on another unexpected round of Prednisone in the next nine months it might not fit so good anymore.. Now im home from school/work on a sick day, i guess it all caught up with me.

The 3 W's of Wedding Decisions

Since the end of September, I have been kind of immersed in wedding things. It even was so bad the weekend we got engaged that it caused a little tiff between me and the fiance. It was easily solved though. Sometimes it can be really hard to face the issues concerning chronic illness in your life. For me, I needed to be able to become immersed in these things because I work a dead end job and my health issues don't make it any easier to have happy thoughts sometimes. It isn't easy living with uncontrolled pain and questionably working medications while you watch people your age out partying, exploring the world, and participating in sports that hurt you to even think about.

One of the first things that an engaged couple should do is have the budget talk. I'm kind of avoiding it since I have an amazing amount of debt between student loans and credit cards filled with medical bills.

But the next step is to brainstorm/daydream and think about the following W's of Wedding planning.

Who

Who are the people in your life that you value the most? Who can you trust to help get things organized and keep you together mentally through your big day? A spoonie has an added challenge here as it isn't always easy to have friends that can be physically near you who also understand the issues associated with your illness. You need to have people in your wedding party that trust and believe that you are ill and who can help take on maybe a little more responsibility than the normal party members - because you are going to have days where you're supposed to meet with vendors but the brain fog takes hold of you and you need someone there to back you up and help remember everything, or help you to get all your ducks in a row the morning of your wedding because dealing with the anxiety gets 'normal' people overwhelmed easily and you need to have as little stress as possible. In short, you need people who really are your friends/family, who are dedicated to helping make your day special, and don't mind needing to put in a little extra elbow grease to help you get things done.

For my fiance and I, our entire tiny wedding party is all girls. I have my college roommate and best friend Katy as my maid of honor. I chose her over my sister and his (our two bridesmaids) not because I value her more than family but because she is family to me and I know she knows how to get shit done where sometimes the sisters may not have experience with these things. His best maid is his best friend Melody, the only person who knew he was going to pop the question and who helped him pick things out long distance from New York. These four special ladies are family to me, regardless of DNA. I know that they all recognize my illness and that they will do whatever they can to assist my fiance and me in getting things done.

Where

Picking a location can be a tough one for any bride. You'll have to really think about your dream day and what, if any, kind of theme you are going to go off of. If you want a lot of hanging floral or light pieces, getting married in a 200 year old wooden Norwegian chapel in northern Wisconsin might not be the best fit. You'll also need to consider how many people you will have on your guest list and use it to guide which venues you end up visiting.

The spoonie bride will face additional issues with accessibility needs. If you need to be able to sit, you won't necessarily want a beach where it'll be difficult to walk and not much better to sink a seat into. Likewise, picking a venue where you won't be able to fit a wheelchair through a doorway won't help if you try to rest your joints and avoid walking the morning of your wedding so you can store some spoons for dancing and mingling with loved ones. And dealing with stairs if your worst joints are your ankles/hips/knees in a poofy dress isn't going to be the best idea either.

You just have to keep all these things in mind and decide which things are necessities for you or your groom.

When

Choosing a time of year can be a little daunting for some brides. For the spoonie bride, additional worries include how possible weather conditions may affect how she feels on her special day. Living in Wisconsin, even thinking about getting married in winter pains me. With the rain we tend to get, spring and fall aren't much better. Summer can be extremely hot here certain years, but there are a few weeks where the weather tends to be warm and mild - aka the month of August. Once you think about the month, you will need to pick a few dates and keep them in mind as you start shopping for a venue.


January brings an interesting set of wedding expos in Wisconsin. This weekend, I will be spending a much needed girls weekend with my maid of honor and my fiance's sister in Milwaukee trying on dresses and heading to an expo at the state fairgrounds. The following weekend there is an expo here in Madison where I live and I'm going to try to get the fiance to go with me. In discussing this with my GP a few weeks ago, he said I should go with some gals and stop attempting to torture my poor fiance :)

I hope that the new year finds you all well. I'm definitely looking forward to sharing my adventures trying on more dresses and visiting these expos with you!

Beth :)

Hey there everyone! Very excited to be a part of A Very Spoonie Wedding. My name's Beth, i'm 23, Rheumatoid Arthritis is my body's weapon of choice, and ive been engaged for a whole year already (whew). I look forward to blogging about the big day, and the little speed bumps my disease puts in the way. But, honestly, theres a giant snow storm headed up the East Coast and im feelin it in my swollen lil fingers, so i'll have to sign out for now :(